(This is the second of 10 Beliefs in our Wellness Beliefs and Healing series. )
Do you really feel like it’s safe or in your best interest to get well?
This may seem like a silly question. Most people would say, and mean, that of course they want to get well, and the sooner the better.
Consciously this may be true. But on a deeper level, it’s probably far from the truth. Sometimes there are compelling reasons to stay unhealthy. You may even be aware of some of them.
Chances are though, that your subconscious mind is holding on to some reason that it isn’t safe, or in your best interest to get better. And it isn’t going to turn that around as long as it is running the program that having this illness is keeping you safe and comfortable.
Don’t look for logic from the subconscious. It doesn’t know logic. Just like a computer, it only runs the programs until it’s programmed differently.
I’m sure my subconscious programming factors in some benefits of being ill at times. When I was a child I enjoyed an occasional sick day. It was a treat staying home from school. My sister would take care of me and spoil me. Who wouldn’t love and seek that kind of attention? When my disk ruptured a few years ago, it gave me a valid and ready excuse to say ‘no’ to everything I wanted to say no to. Thankfully my need and motivation to get functional outweighed the benefits of pain and disability.
Secondary gains of physical or mental conditions include:
- More care and attention from medical providers, loved ones and friends.
- Lower expectations of you.
- Fewer responsibilities.
- Avoidance of work and maybe even free checks in the mail.
- A ready excuse to say no.
- Getting to play small in your life or career.
- A release of pleasurable brain chemicals when you eat junk food.
- You get to stay in the routine and it’s comfortable.
- Many more. Which ones can you think of?
Even if you truly want to consciously get well, your brain and body may now be comfortable with their current state. The subconscious loves routine and habit. It’s automatic programming is safe and predictable. The body gets comfortable with it’s chemical condition too. Neither considers change a positive thing, even if it’s truly in your best interest.
This subconscious programming has nothing to do with a person’s character, motivation or will power. It is not a cause for guilt, blame or shame. It’s simply the way we humans are wired.
“Not safe” is a block for most people regardless of the type of changes they think they want to make. It’s probably safe to assume some form of this belief is blocking or limiting your ability to improve your health habits, lifestyle choices, and relationships to some degree.
The good news is that by getting conscious and honest about the positive side of being ill, you become more aware of your needs and wants. This will show you areas that need healing or development. You are empowered to make a choice to change direction and make shifts, or not. Conscious awareness is always the first step to changing your health and your life. Be aware that you may not be able to identify all of them since many beliefs were acquired in your first years of life.
Spend some time honestly excavating the secondary gains your condition affords you. What reasons do you have for wanting to stall your healing or personal growth process? How can you get your needs/wants met in other ways? What personal growth steps do you need to take?
Share your insights in the comment section below.
**Time Sensitive Note**
Alan Tutt of PowerKeys Publishing is giving away his highly-rated “Choose To Believe” workshop recordings. This is over 7 hours of
pure content, giving you detailed, step by step demonstrations of HOW to change your beliefs and your life. I took this course a few months ago and it’s very comprehensive. It’s will really help you excavate your beliefs.
All you have to do to get them is register at the following page:
These recordings will only be available for 2 weeks, so go there now before it’s too late.