How often have you heard someone or yourself say, “I’m an alcoholic, I’m diabetic, I’m obese, I’m disabled. I”m depressed.” These are just some examples of the way we identify with a health condition.
But, you say, it’s true, I am _____. Are you really? Is that WHO you are? Is that the truth you want to affirm about yourself? Or is it just part of what you are experiencing in your life? Your illness and things that have happened to you are not who you are.
This may sound like mere semantics, but there is a big difference between saying, “I am an insomniac, manic-depressive, cancer victim…” and “I am experiencing these symptoms, problems.
Using the words, “I have___” is a step away from declaring “I am”, but still basically translates to “I am a person with_____”.
Yes, these labels are convenient. They were designed to explain a host of common symptoms in a word or two. Unfortunately, there is usually a set of beliefs, treatments, and probable outcomes attached to that diagnosis or label. The problem is, when believed and claimed the label and its attachments can become part of your identity and programming.
Remember – your subconscious mind believes what you tell it. It cannot separate imagination from reality. It is your faithful servant that carries out the instructions and programs you give it. Be careful what you declare to your mind and body.
Some people become wrapped up in their issues and identify completely with them. They say, “I am a cancer, rape, war, accident victim” even long after the incident or illness is over. Releasing this attachment so that mental or physical healing can occur would be like changing identities. Your subconscious will not support you with such a scary, uncomfortable shift. To the subconscious, what is familiar is comfortable, even if you know it isn’t in your best interest.
So how can you begin to heal and shift these thoughts and allow for healing?
As always, the first key step is awareness.
Listen to yourself as you describe your condition to yourself and others. Watch out too for thoughts and words that define what you can or can’t do because of your illness.
How often do you say “I can’t… or If only”? Even if it’s ‘true’, can you frame it in a way that allows for the possiblility of improvement. For example, replace “I can’t” with “I haven’t been able to…YET.” Talk about what you can do. Focus on the times it doesn’t hurt, or where you don’t hurt. Find creative ways to get around limitations and maximize your strengths.
Notice if you get defensive or anxious at the thought or suggestion of letting the issue go or taking steps to heal. Put some separation between you and your condition by shifting your thoughts and words. Then it will be easier to be open and curious about what you may want or need to do to improve or heal it. Don’t give up on your healing.
Note that this isn’t about going into denial, pretending or making choices that would worsen your condition. Your subconscious isn’t fooled, so that’s not productive and could be harmful. It is about making small (and sometimes frequent) shifts in your thinking, being open to possibilities, setting yourself up for healing, and taking advantage of opportunities to get better.
I’d like to share one of my success stories:
In the five years since rupturing a disk and experiencing nerve damage I’ve had a secret goal of wanting to be able to touch my toes again. For three years, I was stuck at mid-thigh (said this way on purpose). Then I progressed to mid-shin (notice how this sounds and feels better). I continued to hold this seemingly insignificant goal in my mind, and checked my progress every few months. Nothing.
This summer, I decided to experiment with mental rehearsal. For a few days I visualized myself reaching down and touching my toes. It was neat because I could actually feel the sensations in my body as if it were happening.
On the third day I felt inspired to give it a try for real. Right down I went. But here’s the extra cool part. Since then, when it feels like my hands have gone to their limit, my mind extends them mentally to the floor and then my hands follow. Yes, there’s a bit to go yet. The nerve and back still act up a bit so I don’t push it. But hey, what an accomplishment!
How about you? What is your story about letting go of a limiting identity or expectations?